The Ultimate Love Lifestyle GuideMost of us know that love is awesome. Even saying the word “love” makes us think good things and sends a wave of warmth through our bodies. But what is a love lifestyle? In this post I’ll discuss what contributes to a lifestyle and what is involved in switching to one of love (and why you’d want to!).

That’s life.

I’ve been thinking a lot about life these days. Saying this makes me giggle because what could be broader (the nature of the universe maybe?)? Life.


We construct our lives as a reflection of our beliefs (conscious and subconscious). Let me give you a common example.

A person who works at a fast food restaurant may believe:

  • Everyone needs a job to live.

  • They have limited opportunities, skills, and resources.

  • Life consists of sleeping, eating, working, family time, and maybe some minor escapes like video games and movies.

  • Other ways of living are for “crazy” or “rich” people.

That person’s life is structured based on beliefs about reality. It is shaped by their worldview. Yes there may be extenuating circumstances (there always are) BUT to say worldview does not contribute to this lifestyle would be missing it.

Our thoughts and feelings always shape how we experience life. Our words shape how we experience life.

Other Paths of Life Design

There are other ways of being, such as the digital or service nomad. This is a person who travels all the time, getting work either online or in person enough so they can continue to travel. They never stay anywhere for any length of time, own anything substantial, have children, or maintain serious relationships. They are completely detached from the world except to experience some new adventure, and that’s how they like it.

Such a person is, unfortunately, missing some of the most essential aspects of balanced living, namely deeply rooted relationships, but they may not see themselves missing anything. Just like the fast food worker, there are limits to this worldview and life design. Both the fast food worker and the digital nomad may look at aspects of the other’s life with envy.

But there are still other ways of moving through life. There’s the monk who has consciously renounced the world in pursuit of simple living and deep spiritual exploration. There’s the farmer who structures their life around the land and seasons.

These are all clear examples of structuring life in a complete way. They dictate a person’s geography, housing, food, social circle, and entertainment options. These choices are clear and easy because they come as a package. But what if you want to continue living in a city while exploring spirituality? What if you want to continue working at a shop while exploring the possibilities of growing your own food?

Alexis Donkin, Intuitive Life CoachEnter the love lifestyle.

A love lifestyle doesn’t depend on a specific occupation. You can sell services or products. You can live in a city or the country (and anywhere in between!). It does, however, involve whole life design.

It involves intentionally infusing love into every aspect of life. This means being compassionate and empathetic, considering personal impact in every aspect of life. While there are certainly other areas we could consider, I think these six areas are a good beginning to designing a love lifestyle:

  • Mind – anything relating to beliefs and education.

  • Heart – anything relating to emotions, relationships, and community

  • Body – includes anything involving the physical body (fitness, food, and sleep)

  • Spirit – all things relating to spirit (meaning-making and connection)

  • Work – anything related to occupations

  • Home – includes housing, appliances, furniture, gardening, etc.

In my post on reviewing the past year and setting new intentions I outlined some of the ways I’ve been shifting these six areas to reflect unconditional love. It is a process to shift one’s beliefs and behaviors which takes time and commitment. But why would anyone want to change so much about their lives? What’s so great about a love lifestyle?

The Benefits of a Love Lifestyle

This way of living changes everything for the better for yourself and everyone around you.

When you live with love, you:

  • feel inner peace because you honor yourself and others

  • experience freedom from living in the present moment

  • feel joy on a daily basis from focusing on things that are good and being fully present

  • have a deep sense of self-worth for living from a place of purpose and principle

  • gain a steady stream of inspiration

  • have positive relationships in every area of your life

  • contribute to the wellness of your community and world through your daily habits and practices

  • and the list goes on…

I could rattle off a thousand and one different reasons why this is such an amazing way to live, but let me sum it up in one word: enlightenment. Living with love is a deep spiritual practice that brings about enlightenment. This is the kind of thing spiritual teachers have been preaching, teaching, and writing about for thousands of years.

It is one of the main kernels of all the major world religions – to be compassionate human beings (think: The Golden Rule).

While religious texts give us ancient ethical codes to build compassionate lives, they don’t address the kinds of problems and concerns we encounter in the modern world (i.e. the internet, corporations, electricity, etc). Also, their worldviews are lacking in some areas (i.e. slavery, women, sexuality, etc) and that confuses people, pulling them away from the faiths’ central message of love into militant and limiting legalism.

There just isn’t a good guide for living a compassionate life in this day in age.

So what are the guidelines? What directions do we need to take in order to live a “love lifestyle?”

Love Lifestyle General Guidelines

I can’t get too specific because compassion is a contextual thing – active love depends on context BUT there are some general guidelines I can give for the six life areas I shared earlier.

For the Mind:

  • Spend time educating yourself on a variety of subjects. If there is something you don’t understand, read about it from a trained expert in the field. Take a class. Reach out to a friend and talk with them.

  • Push yourself outside of your circle of understanding to maintain a broader perspective.

  • Examine your thoughts about the self and others. If they reflect judgment, guilt, anger, or shame, seek to understand why. Then let them go and replace them with loving thoughts.

  • Practice acceptance of self and others.

  • Recognize the inherent worthiness of all people.

For the Heart:

  • Acknowledge your feelings – both good and bad. Understand where they come from and address root causes as needed.

  • Practice forgiveness of the self and others.

  • Be fully present with your romantic partner, friends, children, and any other person in which you come into contact.

  • Seek the highest good for all people – this means equal rights, fostering bodily autonomy, access to health-care, good schooling, safe housing, clean water, healthful food, encouraging critical thought, fostering empathy, and a thriving community.

  • Use heart talk to make your communication with others the best it can possibly be.

  • Set aside time regularly for the important relationships in your life (i.e. partner, children, best friend etc).Hand holding a heart box.

For the Body:

  • Spend time outside daily – even if it’s just an hour.

  • Eat for wellness (i.e. fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, diversity of diet, etc).

  • Pay attention to how your body feels and act accordingly.

  • Go to sleep when you are tired.

  • Drink water.

  • Exercise and build active time into your day.

  • Use personal products that foster and maintain bodily health.

  • Consider moving to low packaging or DIY products and practices (to minimize hormonal disruption and environmental degradation).

  • Learn to cook healthful meals.

For the Spirit:

  • Meditate – find a practice that works for you and do it regularly.

  • Find a creative practice that nourishes your spirit (i.e. coloring, journaling, cooking, singing etc).

  • Spend time in wonder and awe of things around you.

  • Find a spiritual community to encourage, challenge, and foster spiritual growth.

  • Find a spiritual mentor who will aid you in self-transcendence. You will know them because their message will center on love and their voice will resonate with where you are in your journey.

For Work:

  • Follow your passion, and if you can’t immediately, find those things in your present position that make your heart light.

  • Seek the highest good in everything you do, for all involved.

  • Seek innovation for the highest good.

  • Accept feedback and incorporate it as it aligns with the vision of your work.

  • Enjoy what is successful and where you are in your work now.

  • Enjoy the vision of where your work will take you in the future.

For Home:

  • Declutter and once done, maintain a tidy space.

  • Buy things of high quality that will last a long time.

  • If you must buy disposable, buy biodegradable.

  • Buy things in bulk.

  • Avoid using plastic, except if it is already in your house.

  • Seek to refuse (minimalism!), reuse, upcycle, recycle, and if you can do none of these things, then toss.

  • Use gentle non-toxic cleansers that have zero impact on water and wildlife.

  • Seek to move toward renewable energy.

  • Consider a garden for total wellness and beautiful decor (potted gardening is doable even for small indoor spaces!). If possible, do permaculture.

Those are good guidelines to get started living a love lifestyle. You won’t get them all done overnight (note: I’m working on many of the home and body ones myself!) and that’s okay. Start where you are and slowly add one after another. They’ll become easier to do the further you get in your journey.Quick Start Love Lifestyle Tipographic

Love Lifestyle Quick-Start Guide & Resources

That was a lot and it may feel overwhelming. Here’s the quick-start guide for those just starting out:

  1. Affirm your intent to live with love.

  2. Look at your life (start with the six areas mentioned above).

  3. Are you living from a place of active love? If not, adjust. If yes, then do more of that!

But what if you’re just not sure or still struggling with the idea of shifting every aspect of your life – what can you do?

This is where it’s important to reach out to other people. Find your loving tribe. It can be a group of friends with similar goals, a club, or even an online community. A good place to start is my free Love the Unloveable Challenge where you gain access to my Heart Unboxed community (join here).

Another option is to find a mentor. There are a few ways to do that. An easy way to get started is taking classes on living a love lifestyle. These are usually a mid-range investment that give you a step-by-step framework to use along with some self-directed exercises and practices (check out mine here).

Beyond classes, there are various types of personalized guidance. These can range from things as simple as receiving intuitive answers to questions and readings, to premium group and individual coaching packages. These are good ways to get personalized guidance at any price point and time commitment.

There’s an option for you to shift the way you life no matter where you are in your journey. The important thing is to get started.

Get Started

The way you live your life is a reflection of your thoughts and beliefs, which may be conscious or subconscious. While there are some lifestyles that come as a package (usually related to a job or occupation) the love lifestyle is a little different. Wherever you are, whatever you do – you can begin living a love lifestyle. It has many important benefits that positively impact every area of your life, as well as everyone and everything around you. Though changing so much seems like a lot, there are also plenty of resources to help you get started no matter where you are in your journey.

Take the first step here.










The Ultimate Love Lifestyle Guide
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