christine alexis virgins of the screen. fuqvids.com

On July 25 at 11 AM I had my first Love the Unloveable webinar. It is the first time I’ve done a webinar, certainly the first time I produced anything live on the internet and it’s kind of blowing my mind.

Six months ago, I never would have done something like this, making excuses and giving reasons why I couldn’t or shouldn’t. Three years ago, I might have laughed and then cried.

From who I was three years ago to now, there has been such a radical transformation, if the two versions of me stood side by side, we would be entirely different people.

Choose to Live Differently - How I went from awful to awesome!

At The End of 2013

Nearly three years ago, I was a mess. I felt worthless. I was depressed. It took effort every day to not hurt myself, I felt like such a failure. My marriage was on the verge of collapse. We weren’t able to pay our bills and the work my husband was able to get was menial at best. I was also riding the postpartum hormone roller coaster.

Everything was a source of pain. It was awful. I cried daily. My husband and I fought. Everyday felt like a burden. It really was the worst I’ve ever felt (I wrote about it in detail in a chapter of my memoir here).

And it didn’t last.

I’m the kind of person who gets inspired by discontent. I like solving problems and this was the biggest problem I could solve – my life. So I decided things would change. I decided I would change. And I did.

What a difference!

I wanted to show you in no uncertain terms the things that I do to care for myself because they indicate, more than anything else, the kind of changes I’ve made as a human.

A selfie on my new phone - my hair is going on day 3, no styling, and no product.

Here are the personal changes:

  1. I do 10,000 steps daily (or at least most days…despite working from home on my laptop!).

  2. I ditched my hair products and went “No ‘Poo.” I now wash my hair once a week with egg yolk and if I need to tame fly-aways, I give my hair a bit of coconut oil. My hair is the most glorious it’s ever been and a LOT easier to manage. I’m. Not. Joking.

  3. I eat vegetarian meals several days weekly. Part of this is the gift of living in a multi-generational household, but part of it is intentional living.

  4. I take a multi-vitamin, cod liver oil capsule, and glucosamine supplement daily.

  5. I gave up soda (I used to be addicted to Diet Coke). Now I drink no more than 2 cups of coffee daily, sticking to water throughout the day (with the occasional iced tea).

  6. I meditate for a few minutes several times a day (at this point I think I average 30 minutes total).

  7. I let things go and no longer hold grudges (I used to be really bad about this – although I do still file away past actions for reference.).

  8. I gave up using negative language and derogatory names (I’ve even begun phasing out four letter words…which is kind of miraculous.).

  9. I find things to enjoy about the present moment (mindfulness).

Here are the professional change indicators (which I’ve talked about before here, but this is an updated list):

  1. Executed my first webinar (and planning more).

  2. Maintain two interview series (Intentional Writer and Goal Post).

  3. Created The Compassion Letter, sending it out weekly.

  4. Created my first ecourse, The Heart Unboxed: How to Love the Unloveable.

  5. Developed and implemented a social post strategy.

  6. Fostered several communities of writers.

  7. Been published in a variety of outlets and blogs.

  8. Had several podcast interviews.

I’m sharing this with you not to make you feel inferior (you’re not), jealous (we’re on different paths), but rather to let you know what kind of changes are possible in a short time. Six months, a few years, a second – the time doesn’t really matter. Any length could be used and could make these changes possible, if you decide you want them, and a path to implement these changes.

How I did it

This transformation happened (and continues to happen) because I did the following:

  • I built my sense of self-worth. I finally believe I am worthy of good things in my life.

  • I accepted myself as I am – that I’m on my own journey and it’s amazing and wonderful and uniquely mine.

  • I forgave my mistakes and expressed gratitude for them (because they helped to make me the person I am today and I love myself!).

  • I recognized the worthiness of others.

  • I accepted others as they are.

  • I forgave (and continue to forgive) others as well as express gratitude for the blessings they bring to my life.

Behind the scenes of getting a webinar ready!

It took a LOT of work to get to this place. To build my sense of worth was a LOT of effort and energy (recognizing the worth of others came naturally). To accept myself as I am and others as they are without judgment took serious introspection and countless exercises. To forgive myself and others required (and continues to require) conscious daily practice.

The result of all this work was a daily sense of peace, joy, and love.

You can do it too!

This is not something I was born with. This is not something only certain kinds of people can do. Anyone can do this. Anyone can experience this.

And when you do, it will CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

I want this for you. I want you to experience what I experience every day BECAUSE YOU DESERVE TO FEEL HAPPY AND LOVED.

You deserve peace.

While I’ve written about the process and steps a lot on my blog, it’s harder to implement these things. The information is everywhere, and you could spend years fumbling around like I did, or you could make it happen with a clear map, and step by step guidance.

That is why I developed The Heart Unboxed – because I love you. Because I wanted to show you how to do this so you can skip through all the fumbling I did. I took all the years of experience and research, distilling it down into clear exercises focusing on three aspects of love so that you can change your experience quickly.

Enroll in the class here. It’s so worth it – you are so worth it. You’ll be amazed at the transformation awaiting you!

Alexis Donkin

Alexis Donkin is a life coach and intuitive helping creatives build lives based in unconditional love. She is the creator of The Compassion Letter weekly newsletter, and the online course, The Heart Unboxed: How to Love the Unloveable, as well as host of the Intentional Writer Interview Series and author of over 17 books.
Choose to Live Differently
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