Dear One,

This is a giant warm fuzzy. Unadulterated. Love. Through. Blog.

Originally, I thought I was going to write about Orlando (If you’re looking for a response to that, read my post here. it’s the longest post on my blog to date and draws from my peace studies education as well as my mythological knowledge.).

However, the past week and a half has been a lot to process and when I look at my social feeds, I feel the wear and tear of people’s hearts and minds. There are enough people responding to these things and there is enough grief, despair, anger, and blame.

I want to offer you something else – a bit of warmth and light – to fortify your heart.

First, Love.

I don’t need to know anything about you to know this – if you’re reading this, you’re human. As far as I’m concerned, you’re part of my family and I love you. I really love you – just the way you are. You have all the light and love possible residing in you. The only thing necessary is for you to remember. So here’s your reminder – you are loved. You are valuable. You are significant as your every word and act impacts the world around you. How amazing it is! What wonderful things you can do just by virtue of being in the world!

You are important. Someone loves you beyond me – in fact, many someones love you. You may not even realize how many someones love you. Sometimes it takes something crazy or awful to show you just how many someones love you (it did for me) – but rest assured, they’re out there. They’re sending you good thoughts. Sometimes they’re strangers. Sometimes they’re coworkers you had 20 years ago. You don’t realize it, but as you move through life, you cast ripples around you and people care. People rely on you. Remember this.

Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has some past regret. When we come into this world, we come in having to learn things. And that takes time. It takes trial and error. It takes exploration. So accept the lessons you needed to learn, take what was good from them, and let go of the bad. You were doing the best you could.

Someone judged you? That’s not about you. That’s a reflection of them. It does not change your inherent value. It does not change your inherent power. You’re still you. You still have all that love and light in you. You still have this incredible and important place in the world by being you. Nothing can take that away. No. Single. Thing.

Second, Relax.

When your stomach twists or your chest constricts, stop. Just stop doing whatever it is you’re doing. If it’s a thought, a conversation, or a work project. Stop. It. Now.

Breathe. Give yourself time to enjoy a sweet breath, deep and slow. Enjoy the sensation.

If you must return to the task, then ask yourself what it is that caused that tight feeling and change your approach. Work on something else until you find the different approach that feels right in your gut.

But… if you have the luxury of walking away, by all means, walk.

Walk far. Walk wide. Jump. Skip. Point out every. Single. Thing that is beautiful and wonderful that you appreciate in that moment. When you’re smiling and your body feels light, then, and only then should you address the earlier tightness. With your renewed perspective, you’ll find adjusting your approach easy.

Light a candle. Watch it burn.

Drink some aromatic tea.

Tickle your kid/nephew/niece.

Pet a fluffy animal.

Whatever you do, enjoy it. Relish it. Experience it fully, as though you were a child. Savor the moment. That’s the present of life.

Third, Share.

Take a few minutes to share your experience with someone – anyone. Your friend. Your neighbor. The person next to you in the subway. The barista at the coffee place. Tell them how you experience wonderful things around you. Tell them love is everywhere.

Here’s how the conversation can go:

You: Hey! Have you ever stopped to notice things around you?

Random person: Uh, excuse me?

You: Do you notice things around you?

RP: What do you mean?

You: Well, you know that expression, “stop and smell the roses.”

RP: Yeah.

You: Do you ever do that?

RP: … No.

You: I did that today. I actually stopped to smell some flowers when I was walking this morning, and you know what?

RP:…

You: It totally changed how I was feeling. It reminded me how much beauty is around if I just open my eyes. It’s kind of amazing what’s in the world.

RP: Yeah, I guess so.

You: Life gets busy. Bad things happen. Sometimes I forget how amazing the world is – how wondrous it is.

RP: Yeah, you’re right.

You: Well, have a great day!

RP: You too!

It doesn’t have to be a stranger, though it means a lot when this message comes from a stranger. No doubt, this kind of experience will stay with a person for at least a week, if not longer. It’s a radical act, to point out beauty, love, hope, and peace when so much of the world feels the opposite. It’s revolutionary. It’s glorious.

You’re so important. You have such an impact. So little is required, and just think how that can impact a person!

The Challenge

I’m serious about this. This week, I want you to be conscious with these three things:

  1. Remind yourself everyday how much love there is in the world for and around you.

  2. When things start to feel overwhelming, scary, or sad, take a moment for yourself.

  3. Share these things with others in an obvious way (it could be sharing this post or talking with someone like I mentioned above).

I love you just as you are. Thanks for being here. You’re awesome.

Alexis Donkin

Alexis Donkin is a life coach and intuitive helping creatives build lives based in unconditional love. She is the creator of The Compassion Letter weekly newsletter, and the online course, The Heart Unboxed: How to Love the Unloveable, as well as host of the Intentional Writer Interview Series and author of over 17 books.
Open Letter to Everyone
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