One of the things that a lot of people suffer through is a feeling of not being worthy. This is a major issue for anyone with a history of abuse (which is unfortunately a lot of people). Those with a history of abuse often feel guilt and shame. They feel like somehow they were less than other people, and that is why this awful thing happened to them. This is also why often adults with a history of abuse have other problems in adulthood – they feel unworthy.
Here’s the thing: if you want to thrive, you have to get to a place where you can recognize your worth. You need to get to a place where you can honestly say, “I love myself. I matter. I’m important. I am worthy of having good things in my life.”
I don’t mean just say these things – I mean look in the mirror, straight into your eyes, feeling these statements in your gut, and say them out loud.
If you’ve read my memoir, you know I have my own history that I’m still navigating. I’ve come a long way on many issues from my past, but I’m still finding little ways these things continue to impact how I live my life. It seems a little weird to let something that happened 30 years ago impact how I live now – keeping me from things I want to do or who I want to be.
With that in mind, I started spending time on myself in order to really let things go and move forward. I realized if I wanted to move forward in my work, to share my message, I needed to feel like my voice mattered and was important.
Because if I’m honest with myself, part of me thought I wasn’t.
This is why everyday I spend several hours on myself. Unadulterated hours of me time are a requirement on a daily basis. Here are some of the things I do daily:
Meditate – I meditate for at least 20 minutes daily. That’s the low end. Usually it works out to something between 30 minutes and an hour. My meditations focus on anything from clearing negative energy/thoughts, to guided meditations with specific intentions, to self-directed creative visualization.
Walk – Kiddo and I go for at least one if not two walks everyday. This is good for him, but it’s also good for me. I use the time to relish in the beauty and wonder of the world, pointing these things out to Kiddo as we go.
Mirror-work – this is something I just started as an experiment (I’m into experimenting on myself these days!). It’s kind of fun because I get to look at myself in the mirror and say awesome things to myself. The goal is to do this 5 times a day for about a minute each time and it has a major impact on self-love and acceptance.
Codewords – I love these puzzles and Christian got me a book of 500 of these puppies. It’s a good clearing, fun, mental exercise for me.
Nap – I add this even though I don’t do this daily. Sometimes it’s just a few minutes lying quietly with my eyes closed, but this really helps me feel rested and gives me the down time I need to be fully present with my son and while working.
Continuing education – I read, watch, or listen to something everyday that helps me improve in some area of my life. This probably takes anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, at least. I’m not sure because I read a lot of little articles in between working and caring for Kiddo.
My life has changed a lot because of these little daily practices. I can’t explain how much lighter I feel every day that passes. I thought I was doing pretty well before, but this is a whole new level. I smile randomly. I skip, just because the mood strikes. I sing and dance just because it makes my heart swell. I feel free in a way I never expected.
I really recommend spending some time on yourself. You’ll be pleasantly surprised by what happens.
What are your daily practices? Share them in a comment!
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- Neither Selfish or Selfless – Only Loving! - April 30, 2018