christine alexis virgins of the screen. fuqvids.com

Alexis looking to right

I’m really struggling because something unexpected happened this past week. I went on my trip with my family and I discovered that my wrists didn’t hurt anymore. My thumbs didn’t hurt.

Nothing hurt.

After an hour of using my computer the day I returned, my wrists hurt.

Now I have to figure out what to do. I’ve committed so much time and energy to my writing – and it’s hurting me. This is something I love. It is something I have to do and I’m struggling with the possibility that I may not be able to do it anymore. I’m not really sure what to do at this point. I’m writing this using my speech to text on my phone because my computer is so old and I don’t have space to update the operating system (seriously). I really can’t download more software to mitigate my problem.

At this point, I need a miracle. I always thought if there was a will there is a way and I guess, what I’m doing right now, is a testament to that. However, I wonder if it’s even possible to continue this way. I mean, if I write using a speech to text program, how am I going to communicate fantasy world words? They don’t translate because they’re not in English or any other language (necessarily). It is a real problem and I’m thinking about it constantly because if I do any computer work, I feel it constantly.

Normally I would include a list of bullet pointed goals and let you know how much work I’ve done in the past week, but the reality is all I’ve been able to do has been maintenance. It’s been a battle for each and every word. I realize going forward, all these dreams I had for my writing, may only be dreams. I don’t know if I can live with that. I need your help.

This week dear readers, I ask you to send good thoughts, or to pray, or send suggestions. If I have a goal this week, it is to find a solution. Because as much as I love to write – as much as I need to write – I can’t do it at the risk of bodily harm. I can’t write in good conscience while committing lasting damage to my tendons.

With hope and love,

Alexis

Writing: My Grief
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